I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize