He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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