that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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