hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
