Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
My feet surprised me
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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