But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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