Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
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