I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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