apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sex in a hospital.. check
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize