You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
