she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
