Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
