her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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