i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
