it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
