I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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