Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
