Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I think people are normalizing furries
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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