My nipple is on Facebook.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
