at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
