week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
