Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
