U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
