Are we in a gay sports bar?
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
