Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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