Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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