I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
