For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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