i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Randomize