Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
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