you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
