i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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