so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Randomize
