the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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