Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
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I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
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We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER