true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?