K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I bet he comes in French.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif