The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina