we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
