sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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