I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
she looked like the before picture.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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