So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
