Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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