Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Please don't give away my fajitas
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
