Got a toothbrush?
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
