sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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