I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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