I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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