Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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