So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
