oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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