Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
