sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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