So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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