so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize