I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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