in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
