white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
She tied me up with her honor cords...
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
