If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
