my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
