I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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