Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
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There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
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