he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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