Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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